Excerpt From Email
Subject: TO ALL OF YOU
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just when you thought you had everything all systemized and organizated, THIS MESSAGE came along!! HA ha ha ha!!!
See, the way I figure it, you Luttermans had a nice email organization sort of thing going on, where everyone has their own folder, and mail is sorted into the appropriate folder upon reception. This enabled you to use your "Inbox" folder as a sort of FIFO continuous throughput thing... But NOT ANYMORE!!! ha ha
In my nefarious scheme to overthrow the world, one of the minor points is that I disrupt people's everyday lives! Thus, by sending this message to not one person, not two people, but EVERYONE in your ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD, I have disrupted your sorting scheme!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!! VICTORY IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WORLD SHALL BELONG TO ME, AND I SHALL BE SUPREME DICTATOR!!! HA HA!
Sorry... I got a bit carried away there. But nonetheless, I have succeeded, haven't I? You shall be underlings in my new world order. You will be assimilated, and then crushed. But for a mere $20.00, I will allow you to be slaves in my estate. That may seem like a poor deal, but think of this: while the multitudes will be scrambling to do my bidding only to be crushed during a "productivity purge," you will simply be scrambling to do my bidding. You avoid getting crushed altogether. Twenty dollars may seem like a lot at first, but what is your future worth to you? As supreme dictator, you have my word that I will not crush you when a purge comes along; in fact, I will defend you from foreign assailants. My new world order will be an order of terror and absolute power will be mine! Take advantage of this special offer and enroll as one of my slaves NOW, before it's too late!
Offer valid while time lasts. Offer is not void anywhere. Paid for by Zach Bardon for Supreme Dictator of the World. Absolutely no taxpayer funds were used in the production of this document.
© 1998-2020 Zach Bardon
Last modified 7.19.2019