The ACTUAL Turning of The Millenium

 

Most people fall into two categories:

1) People who believe the millenium turned when the year became 2000. They point out that the 1 actually became a 2 at this point.

2) People who believe the millenium really changed when the year became 2001. They cite some kind of mathematical jargon about how we are still in the 20th century until it is all the way over (namely the end of December 31, 2000).

I can understand both of these viewpoints. They both make a certain degree of sense. But in actuality, these people are both wrong. The millenium actually turns when the year becomes 2002.

If we think about it logically, it really does make sense. Common sense tells us "The millenium changed at 2000 because Oooh! Look! The '1', which is in the thousands' place, turned to a '2.'" But then math tells us, "No no no, that is poppycock. The millenium turns when 1000 years have gone by. At the year 2000 only 1999 years have actually passed, because January 1st of 2000 marks the beginning of the 2000th year."

Math is therefore shown to be superior to common sense. So we could go on our way blithely believing that the millenium turned at 2001. But I would like to introduce you to an even more superior principle. It is superior because it integrates both math AND common sense. Its name: Logic.

Consider the following syllogisms:

STATEMENT 1: Many people thought the millenium turned at 2000.
STATEMENT 2: They were wrong.
STATEMENT 3: Many people thought the millenium turned at 2001.
CONCLUSION: They were also wrong.

STATEMENT 1: The idea of the the millenium turning at 2000 was wrong because the millenium actually was one year longer.
STATEMENT 2 (from conclusion above): The idea of the millenium turning at 2001 is also wrong.
CONCLUSION: The millenium is actually one year longer.

COMBINED CONCLUSION: The Millenium changes at 2002.

I know, I was hesitant to believe this too, but there it is: cold facts staring you in the face. And really, does it matter why? This New Year's Eve I am going to be able to party like it is the last night of the millenium for the THIRD TIME!! How cool is that?? I would decide to believe it even if some random stranger walked up to me and told me his Cheerios told him this morning that the millenium turns at 2002. Everyone knows New Year's Eve is not about principles; it is about partying.

Plus, if we can get a lot of people to believe this, then we will become wrong due to the logic shown above, and then the millenium won't actually turn until 2003! Theoretically, if we share this message consistently enough, we could have unending millenium changes! Every year would be the ACTUAL turn of the millenium. And each year we could party like it is the end of the millenium.

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© 1998-2021 Zach Bardon
Last modified 7.19.2019
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