1	Gnorbert, elder of the gnomish gnomads, wants you to collect some comic books from a sk8 gnome named Gnathan, who usually hangs out at The eXtreme Slope.
2	Gnathan the Sk8 Gnome refuses to give up the comic books unless you bring him some fingerless hobo gloves. That's kind of a pain, but still, not a big deal, right?
3	A hobo named All-but-Dissertation Tucker Dummychuck has agreed to give you his gloves, but only if you can find him some demonic harmonica lessons. Demonica lessons? Well, anyway, that shouldn't be difficult.
4	The Archfiend Marble has offered to trade you a book of harmonica lessons in exchange for the Boock of Darck Magicks. Apparently it was last seen in the collection of some occult-hobbyist nobleman.
5	Lord Spookyraven's librarian, Alice, has agreed to give you the Boock of Darck Magics, if you'll find her some fresh ectolpasm.
6	A slick lihc named Rick has agreed to swap you some ectoplasm if you'll bring him something slicker than he is.
7	Kevin'x, one of the chefs in Cobb's Knob, has offered you some of his Knob Butter in exchange for a couple of pointed wooden sticks.
8	Cindy the Vampire Slayer will trade you her marinated stakes for an all-powerful evil-slaying weapon. If you ask me, that's not exactly an equitable trade, but what are you gonna do?
9	An ancient wise woman named Glorificus Steinemus has agreed to give you an ancient but mysteriously shiny weapon of evil-destroying, in exchange for a cup
10	A hippy with some ridiculous name has agreed to give you a cup of her all-natural organic herbal tea in exchange for some white whine vinaigrette dressing.
11	The White Wizard Gannongast says he'll give you his special white wine vinaigrette dressing if you'll bring him the fifteen shards of the mystic Non-Essential Amulet that he sent some spiky-haired kid to collect.
12	A spiky-haired protagonist named Mist Angst has agreed to swap you the Non-Essential Amulet in exchange for a Really Big Tiny House. He said something about a guy with a carrot in his nose, or on his nose, or something... sorry, I wasn't really listening.
13	the snowman first requires
14	Better get that paperclip back to the ninja snowman who wanted it, so he can give you whatever the next thing was.
15	Tang Lung the Ninja Snowman has given you a Really Big Tiny House for that protagonist kid with the ridiculous hair.
16	The spiky-haired protagonist has given you the Non-Essential Amulet that that wizard guy was looking for.
17	Gannongast the White Wizard has given you a bottle of white wine vinaigrette. Who was it that wanted that? I think it was that hippy chef, right?
18	A hippy, or possibly a cave-hippy, has brewed you up a cup of herbal tea for... um... oh, it was that old woman, the one in the cave.
19	You've obtained the ancient evil-smiting weapon that the vampire-slaying chick wanted. Don't quit now, you're coming up on the home stretch!
20	Cindy the Vampire Slayer gave you a couple wooden stakes. Who was it that wanted the stakes? Lemme check my notes...
21	Kevin'x the Knob Goblin chef has given you some of his knob butter. Yeah, yeah, har-de-har. Look, just take it back to that spectre or whatever it was that wanted it so we can be done with this, okay?
22	Rick the Slick Lihc has given you some ectoplasm for the ghostly librarian. Aren't you glad you've got me to remember all this stuff for you?
23	Alice the Ghostly Librarian has given you the Boock of Darck Magick.
24	The Archfiend Marble traded you a book of harmonica lessons for that boock you brought him.
25	All-but-Dissertation Tucker Dummychuck swapped you his fingerless gloves for a book of harmonica lessons. Don't you need fingers to play the harmonica properly? Well, whatever. At least this is nearly done with.
26	Gnathan the Sk8 Gnome gave you back Chomsky's comic books. Hurry! Take them back to Gnorbert, the elder! For the love of god, make this quest be over!