Survey Archives: survey from 9.25.2003
1. NAME: Just pick one? Or do you want my favorite? I'll give you the
first name that pops into my head. Shardul.
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, I wasn't named after just anyone. I
was named after Francis Scott Key. But only my middle name. (I leave you
to wonder whether my middle name is Francis, Scott, or Key.)
3. SCHOOL: ooh! ooh! are we playing free association? ok! Bus.
4. MASCOT: Kevin Baba
5. BIRTHDAY: party!
6. AGE: epoch.
7. GRADE: steep.
8. HEIGHT: Gesund.
9. HAIR COLOR: Hey, my hair's brown.
10. EYE COLOR: You can do that?
11. SIBLINGS: Reminds me of the word sibilant. And I forget what that
means, so I'm going to look it up right now. Ok, it means having to do
with or producing the "s" sound.
12. LAST CD YOU BOUGHT: Dave Bainbridge's solo album. The man is a
genius.
13. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN THE THEATER: I disrecall.
14. LAST MOVIE YOU BURNED: I gotta be careful when I edit questions to
be funny, because sometimes I have no answer for them.
15. FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: I haven't worked my way up that far yet,
I don't have any subjects. But once I do, watch out! Complete world
domination is a step away.
16. LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT: Once I have subjects, my least favorite
subject will be YOU if you EVER cross me.
17. DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE MATH? Actually? Yes.
18. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? In the words of the song, "my best friends
is for you and I together!" What a lousy song, doesn't make sense.
19. DO YOU HAVE A BOYfriend/?GIRLFRIEND? Hey, cool!
20. IF SO, WHO? IF NOT, WHOM DO YOU WANT? Whom do you want!! hahahaha!
Think about that! "Whom" = totally formal. "do you" = neutral. "want"
= blatant objectification of someone, totally impolite and informal.
And now that I've explained it, it's not funny anymore, even to me. So
never mind.
21. FAVORITE ACTRESS: I always liked Ginger Rogers.
22. FAVORITE ACTOR: I like funny old men in movies. But even better are
those little one-liner guys, whose sole purpose is to run up to the hero
and say "The bridge is out ahead!" or in a medieval film, to announce
someone to the King: "Sir Beowulf has arrived, Sire!" I love those
guys, even though they're always terrible actors.
23. FAVORITE MOVIE: Clean Dancing, the box-office failure that followed
up the widely acclaimed Dirty Dancing. Sequels are never as good.
24. FAVORITE TV SHOW: Our family has owned the same TV for as long as I
can remember. And I'm 23 years old.
25. FAVORITE FOOD: Hey, you know that bit about best friends earlier? I
think maybe it's food.
26. FAVORITE DRINK (NON-ALCOHOL): Robitussen.
27. FAVORITE SMELL: Oh wait, that's alcoholic. Uh, I meant Dimetapp.
28. FAVORITE TASTE: Kids, never drink medication. You know how those
caps are darn near impossible to get off? That's for a mighty good
reason, you hear?
29. FAVORITE PEOPLE: You, yourself, and uh... you.
30. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI: Neh. (That's Korean for "yes")
31. HOW LONG ARE YOU IN THE SHOWER? No longer than 6'3". The real
question is "how long are you when you wake up in the morning?" because
people are longer in the morning than at the end of the day, because
people's spines expand at night and compress during the day.
Fascinating, eh?
32. FAVORITE PLACE TO GO ON VACATION? Ay! I have to make a phone
call. Hold on.
--the next day--
Ok, I'm back. (It really is the next day.)
33. FAVORITE SCARY MOVIE: Balderdash. Or maybe Taboo. Although
Monopoly can be fun.
34. GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: I won once.
35. BIGGEST REGRET: I played a song by Mendelssohn called "Regrets."
It's a gorgeous song.
36. BIGGEST DREAM: I had a dream that my friend Aaron Bannin knew my
entire class schedule. And I hadn't told him, so I remember thinking in
my dream that he was really weird and maybe he was stalking me.
37. WORST FEAR: Being stalked by Aaron Bannin.
38. FAVORITE COLOR: Have you ever read "Scary Movie" and thought it
actually said "Game"? I have.
39. BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Home.
40. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Betrayal or injustice.
41. BILL CLINTON: oops
42. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Then I saw her face. Now I'm a believer. Not
a trace. Of doubt in my mind. On the other hand, I loved you before I
met you. But on the third hand, love takes time. But really, all you
need is love.
43. ABORTION: I believe in aborting things that should never have
started. For example, unions and HMOs. I also believe that no human
being is a mistake.
44. DRINKING: is more important than eating, because you can only go
three days without water. Whereas you can go like 60something days
without eating.
45. BRITNEY SPEARS: Dill pickle spears are better. Although, I have
never had pickles from Brittany. Where IS that anyway? The first
person to respond and tell me where Brittany is, I will give them a
popsicle. Note: the winner was Mr. Sam Leo from CA
46. MARILYN MANSON: "Manson" sounds kinda weird, but if you look at it,
it's probably no different than "Larson" or "Erickson" or "Anderson."
They're all Scandinavian.
47. BOY BANDS: That sounds unhealthy.
48. DEATH: Hahaha! I always like warnings that warn you about death.
Like in cars, on the passenger side, on the visor. They always say
WARNING: DEATH or SERIOUS INJURY! etc etc. It's funny.
49. LIFE: Not as fun as Boggle.
WHEN YOU HEAR THIS NAME, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF?
50. NICOLE: 5 cents.
51. JENNY: Someone made this martini with too much gin.
52. GABRIEL: Sharon Shinn. She wrote a book about Gabriel.
53. ADAM: Adamant.
54. RYAN: Slang-ified gerund form of the verb "to rye."
55. MATT: Welcome.
56. DAN: Asher.
57. MELANIE: Suntans. Or depression. Depends on whether you're
thinking melanin or melatonin.
58. KATE: Did she? yes, Katy did.
59. STEPHANIE: Eight. I think that's how many Stephanies I know. If
you are one of them, write back and tell me which number you want to
be. Number One's taken already by my sister.
60. SHAWN: A cat in dog's clothing.
61. SCOTT: National Anthem.
62. TIM: Technology Institute of Massachusetts
63. PHIL: Empty.
64. JASON: Son of Jay.
65. JESSICA: Hi. My favorite color is pink, I like pizza but I never
eat it because I'm on a diet, and I enjoy long romantic walks, and trips
to the mall.
66. HEATHER: Scotland. (Land of Scott)
67. AARON: I'm running errands.
68. LAURA: Elves.
69. ANNA: Palindromes.
70. BOBBY: Constable.
71. MARK: my words, sonny.
72. BRITTANY: Where IS this place?! Remember, I'll give you a popsicle.
Reminder: the popsicle was won by Mr. Sam Leo from CA
73. CHRISTOPHER: Sounds kinda like "conifer" or "ossifrage" or even
"lucifer."
74. MICHELLE: What a leprechaun calls his conch.
75. SARAH: Que sera, sera.
76. BRAD: A binding element. Difficult to remove.
77. DO YOU HAVE A JOB? Always.
78. WHAT COLLEGE DO YOU GO TO OR WANT TO GO TO: ERROR: TOO MANY TINY
WORDS
79. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE? Let's think about this. If we consider the
notion that L is for the way you look at me, coupled with the idea that
O is for the only one I see, the concept of "love" does seem probable,
albeit not altogether certain. But when we also consider the fact that
V is very, very extraordinary, things become more clear. By the time we
realize that, yes, E is even more than any one that I adore, well, we're
in the mood for love.
80. FAVORITE MOVIE QUOTE: "I'm tired." (one of those one-liner guys
said it)
81. FAVORITE ANIMAL: Animal. Think about that word. Look at it.
Animal. It will start to look funny to you. Keep looking. Animal.
Does it seem Arabic to you? Animal. Or perhaps French? Animal. What
do you suppose is its etymology? Anim- probably refers to motion, as in
"animate." Now, you ask if I have a favorite. Yes, the bug.
82. RELIGION: Man's attempt to reach God.
83. BELIEVE IN HEAVEN AND HELL? Heaven. I'm in heaven. When we're
dancing cheek to cheek. (Actually, that never happens to me because I'm
always way taller than the girls with which I dance.) To answer your
question, yes.
84. BELIEVE IN ANGELS? I always thought it was ironic that angelfish
are really pretty dang mean.
85. BELIEVE IN ALIENS? Shhh. There's no such thing as aliens. We
don't ex-- I mean, THEY don't exist.
86. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF? I'm pretty sure I have a self. In the words
of Billy Graham, "you can't see your self, but you can see the effects
of your self." (some poetic license taken... the quote originally was
talking about the wind.) But no seriously, let's discuss this
apologetically. I talk to my self. Does this necessarily indicate that
the self exists? Some would argue not, because what about prayer? If
people talk to a diety, does the diety necessarily exist? But then
there is the argument of certain scholars, for example C. S. Lewis, that
man could not have invented names for things that do not exist in some
form. No word describes something nonexistant. Any fantasy is never
freshly creative, because all man's creativity is based off pre-existing
ideas, and these ideas are formed in real life from existing things.
Therefore, if I talk to my self, there must be SOMETHING, maybe not the
self as I concieve it, but something similar in some way to the concept
of a self.
87. WANT TO GET MARRIED? To you? Who are you?
88. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS DO TO MAKE YOU MAD: Throw me on the ground and
kick me repetitively. Then spit on me. Then duct tape me to a tree.
89. WHAT DO YOU DO THAT MAKES YOUR FRIENDS MAD? Repeatedly dare them to
throw me on the ground and kick me.
90. HAVE ANY STUFFED ANIMALS? Animal. Look at that word. Read it
backwards. Animal.
91. HAVE ANY BAD HABITS? I am obsessed with language. For example,
never ask this question to a nun.
92. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT? Melting Pot.
93. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE HANGOUT? My favorite hangouts are never
locations, but rather people.
94. PEPSI OR COKE? Nothing else is a Pepsi.
95. 7TH HEAVEN OR PARTY OF FIVE: The first person to tell me a creative
way to answer this question will receive lauding. Note: lauding was received
by one Philip
Hahn of Palos Hills, IL for his answer: "I prefer the 4th heaven and parties
numbering more than 6, but less than 12."
96. DIET PEPSI OR PEPSI ONE: Wheel of Fortune could make a really bad
before and after out of that. Diet Pepsi One. I've always been partial
to "Venetian blind man."
97. APPLES OR ORANGES: Fruit.
98. CHOCOLATES OR FLOWERS: How about chocolate flowers?
99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LOVE SONG? Let's consider the word "love" for
a moment. Let's break it down into its roots: "L", "O", "V", and "E."
Ok, just kidding.
100. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SAD SONG? I like sad songs. They resonate
with me, and, I think, all humanity due to the emotional nature of
music, the universality of suffering, and the desire for commiseration.
101. SILVER OR GOLD: have I none, but what I have I give you. (see the
New Testament if you don't get it)
RANDOM QUESTIONS...
102. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING RIGHT NOW? This question exhausts me.
103. WHO ARE YOU THINKING OF? Are you ready for this? This survey is
about to violate many rules of English in a row. For example, this
question blatantly ends in a preposition. That's the easy one to spot,
but in addition, it begins "Who" when it should properly begin "Whom."
See if you can spot the error in the next question:
104. WHY ARE YOU THINKING OF THEM? Did you get it? That's right, the
error lies in the survey's use of "them." English sadly lacks a neuter
singular pronoun, so many people often use the plural pronouns "they" or
"them" to refer to a single person. Though this is a weakness in the
English language, a good writer can find ways to avoid misusing these
pronouns. Consider the example of the next question:
105. ARE THEY SPECIAL? In this question, the survey is clearly still
trying to refer to the single person who is the answer to question 103.
An acceptable substitute would be "Is that person special?" or "Is
he/she special?" A better idea might be to scrap the question entirely
since it is dumb.
106. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING NOW? I probably have 23,359 thoughts flying
through my head, but none of them have developed into language yet, much
less a complete sentence. So I have no answer. Questions should really
be more intelligent than this. I once heard a professor say "The
purpose of an answer is to refine the question." I like that idea.
Unfortunately, this question is difficult because it has no direction.
107. DO YOU LIKE BROCCOLI? Vitamin-pellets and stems.
108. ARE YOU A VEGETARIAN? Approximately 70% of the time.
109. FAVORITE KINDS OF CLOTHES: My brain hurts!
110. THE LAST PHONE NUMBER YOU CALLED? One of the coolest people ever,
John Pillen.
111. THE LAST TV SHOW YOU WATCHED: I do not know.
HAVE YOU....
112. EVER GONE OVERSEAS: Nope. Probably won't for a good while.
113. EVER BEEN ON A PLANE: Yes.
114. EVER WENT SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN: No.
115. GONE SKINNY DIPPING: @$YHPI(((QQ@$P(TUGJPQ@JU#FPJU$GP(Q#U$PGBJUP#$
(UYQ#$UHPQ#(U$HPQ(#U%PBHQ(U#%PGY(Q#U$PTG(YUQ#P$%YGJ
UP#JU%HBPA(EQW#P
$JUYQP#($UYP(QU$%YPA(EIR#$)%(*&!)#$(TUQIWEORGAOIWEYTOQ#I$HGAP(#$(@#UYG(
@#$HF
G()*@YRF(!#)YR)(@*#&R!@#JROP!I@#&R!(P@Y%R(*#YTOIP!YT!OPI@#HT(!
HTI!#H(!#HG(P_!#HG(_P!#HGPIOJH
(JDRBDOMTGOMDYTOPJWEP($#U%(!*U(EJ$Y(Q
W$%JHG(AEJHPJAHAEIPRUYQ)#($UGAIEHRBOAIEHRTQOI#H$%TIOH!!!!!!!!!!
116. EVER CRIED IN PUBLIC: (whew!) Yes.
117. EVER LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Yes. I had to wash my
shirt.
118. FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: Ha! Yes.
119. FELL ASLEEP WHILE EATING: No, food is too arresting.
120. GONE TO CHURCH: Yes.
121. READ THE BIBLE: Yes.
122. CLIMBED A TREE: Yes.
123. WATCHED DAWSON'S CREEK: NO
124. GONE SKIING: -ski is usually a closing suffix, as in Woitaczewski,
so it is unusual to see it followed by -ing. Skiing -- a word made up
entirely of suffixes.
125. GONE SNOWBOARDING: I know a guy who went snowboarding, and he
really hurt himself! Isn't that amazing? I bet I'm one of the only
people who knows someone like that.
126. FELL ASLEEP DURING A SCARY MOVIE: One time I was playing Monopoly
at like 4 in the morning, and I fell asleep on the couch.
127. GONE ALL NIGHT WITHOUT SLEEP: Let me say two things.
128. BEEN TO CAMP: Haha.
129. PLAYED SOCCER: I like soccer.
130. FORGOTTEN A NIGHT'S EVENTS? Yes. For example, can anyone tell me
the events of the night of November 15th, 1989? I didn't think so.
131. SAT IN A RESTAURANT WITHOUT ORDERING: If you give your order to
someone, does that mean they become Primates? Or is that the family?
I'd like to try and give my genus to something that isn't human. So
like the Monarch butterfly (Danaus plexippus) would become Homo
plexippus. Which sounds funny.
132. EATEN DEER: "Look mom! An eaten deer!" "It's not polite to point,
Billy."
133. EATEN FISH: Good band name.
134. WANTED TO DIE: Yes, but thankfully never more than I wanted to
live.
135. MET A CELEBRITY: I AM a celebrity.
136. MET THE PRESIDENT: I am the president, too. Of the Coker Poetry
Society.
137. DRIVEN A CAR: Who made this survey, Bobby Wilcox in the 6th grade?
138. DIDN'T WASH YOUR HAIR FOR A WEEK? Maybe. Maybe in Mexico.
139. BROKEN SOMETHING VALUABLE? A trust.
140. BOUGHT ICE CREAM FROM AN ICE CREAM TRUCK? No one calls it an "Ice
cream truck"! It's correctly "The Ding-Ding Man."
141. BEEN IN OLD NAVY? I have these navy pants that are pretty old.
142. THOUGHT YOU WERE IN LOVE? I done thought U were in Love fer a
while, cuz I sounded it out, and I got me L-U-V. But then my teacher up
and learned me that love, well 'taint spelled thataway. It's spelled
plum crazy-like, with an O and some kinda E at the end. Reckon us
simple folk ain't made fer spellin and rithmatick. Leastways, that's
what my pappy say.
143. TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY? Hey, good idea!
144. MADE PRANK PHONECALLS? No.
145. CAUGHT A FISH? Yes, in a jar. I wanted to take it home and keep
it in an aquarium, but I ended up releasing it back into the stream.
146. BROKEN THE LAW? There is no one righteous, not one. For all have
sinned and fallen short. Do not interpret me as saying short people are
evil.
147. KILLED SOMEONE IN YOUR THOUGHTS? If someone ever got in my
thoughts, I might think about causing them some physical harm, but
killing, well, that's going a little too far. My thoughts aren't all
THAT important.
148. BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT? Several.
149. BEEN BEAT UP? Wal, I reckon not.
150. BEATEN UP SOMEONE? I think this part of the survey was added by
Cyrus Jones.
151. SKIPPED SCHOOL? Skippin' school is for wimps and commies.
152. HAS A "FRIEND" EVER STABBED YOU IN THE BACK? Only purtend-like.
153. WHO DO YOU CRY TO OR WITH? Hahaha! Come on, laugh with me about
this question. Hahaha! Incidentally, "betwixt" is a great preposition.
154. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE PERSON TO TALK TO ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
That self entity we discussed earlier.
155. WHO YOU'RE FAVORITE PERSON TO TALK TO ABOUT LIFE? Read this
question and weep.
156. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM? In place of this
question, I am going to answer the question, "Do you like steak?" No.
157. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLLEGE BASKETBALL TEAM? My answer to this
question has to be Christmas. (assuming by "COLLEGE" they mean "time"
and by "BASKETBALL" they mean "of" and by "TEAM" they mean "year"...)
158. WHO DO YOU LOVE? Who DON'T I love? (besides that one guy)
159. WHO OF YOUR FRIENDS DO YOU THINK WILL GET MARRIED FIRST? Well
considering I'm one of the only ones that ISN'T married... anyone at
North Central. Doesn't matter who... just pick one.
160. WHO DO YOU HAVE THE MOST FUN WITH? I have a list of my favorite
people in the world, but in case you aren't on that list (which you
probably are) I'm not going to list it here, so you can think you're on
it even if you're not.
161. WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE LIKE? Mike.
162. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? I hope I don't grow up
any further. I already can't fit on a go-kart.
163. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN? Little, inane things that you
really don't want to know about.
164. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PASTTIME? I have a lot of good memories.
But one of my favorite pastimes is probably New Year's day of the year
1111, because it was all 1's.
165. WHAT DO YOU DO ON THE WEEKENDS? Sit in my apartment and wait for
someone to call me at (612) 343-8519. First person to call me and
mention this survey, I owe you a hug. Note: winner of the hug was
Mr. David
Hughes of Omaha, NE
166. WHAT DO YOU DO ON YOUR FREE TIME? Free time?! Are you kidding?
I'm so busy all the time doing homework, practicing piano, filling out
surveys, etc that I have no free time.
167. WHAT CANT YOU WAIT FOR? My next breath.
168. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO PUT OFF FOR A LONG TIME? Anything I'm
afraid of.
169. WHO WOULD YOU WANT TO MEET? Jesus.
170. WHO DO YOU MISS? Depends who I'm aiming for.
171. WHO WOULD YOU DIE FOR? Everyone except that one guy.
172. WHO IS THE SWEETEST PERSON YOU KNOW? Haven't really tasted very
many people... really, survey!
173. WHO IS THE NICEST PERSON YOU KNOW? Me. I'm the humblest, too.
174. HOTTEST PERSON U KNOW? Please refer to my concert.
175. WHO DO YOU WANT TO MARRY AND SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH? Is
nothing sacred? I'll give you a hint: it's probably not you.
176. WHO IS THE CRAZIEST PERSON YOU KNOW? Crazy Eddy.
177. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU SMILE? Hopefully no one, I'd
like to continue smiling.
178. WHAT DO YOU THINK THE MEANING OF LIFE IS? 42.
179. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS MEAN TO YOU? They're the 2 part.
180. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED AND WHY? Not long ago, because
none of your business.
181. DO YOU OWN A LAWN MOWER? Hahahahaha what!! Hahahahaa! I can't
even think of an answer, that threw me off so badly! Man! A LAWN
MOWER?!
Um, no. I don't.