Survey Archives: survey from 12.6.2001

Haha!! Yes, that is right, I am laughing. "Why," you ask, "are you laughing, Zach?" Well, I say to you, I am laughing because it's time for another email survey! Hahahahaha! I haven't done one of these in years (for good reason), and so I figured you know what? My friends have not been tortured with an email survey from Zach in a long time, they are getting off too easy. I must punish them once more. And so I set my fingers to the keyboard and produced this little number. Haha, read it if you want, I had fun writing it up.

1. What time is it? 7:02pm
2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate: I have a birth certificate? Awesome, I was wondering whether I had actually been born, or if that was just a deception my parents were foisting on me. Although I suppose my birth certificate could have been forged. Hmm.
3. Nickname(s): Paco, Zacchus, Zachariah Junikers, Zach the Mack, Walrus Boy (just kidding!), Quetzalcoatlus Man (also kidding), and Tim (not kidding).
4. Parents names: Bill and Judy
5. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: none, my mom put them all there herself. That's freaky man... has anyone actually observed candle apparitions?
6. Date that you regularly blow them out? Haha! This question cracks me up.
7. Pets: I have lots of fish. My fish here at college with me is named Sue Yu. The rest are at home.
8. Eye colour: it depends on the light, or maybe on my mood, I don't know. I average sort of a green/blue/grey.
9. Hair colour: Yes! British spellings! I am glad this survey doesn't Americanise words.
10. Piercing: gaze
11. Tattoos: I think it would be cool to get a quarter rest tattooed on the center of the top of my left hand. I thought about getting a corresponding quarter note on my right hand, but nah, that would be stupid.
12. How much do you love your job? If I had a job, and say it was playing dinner music at a restaurant, I would love it.
13. Favourite colour: Yeah British. Tantalising.
14. Hometown: Elkhorn/Omaha, NE
15. Current Residence: Phillipps Hall suite 201 room B.
16. Favourite foods: Dude! They even did "favourite." In fact, I think you should read the rest of this email in a British accent.
17. Been to Africa? No, but I miss the rains down there.
18. Been toilet papering? What I do in the bathroom is my business, really. One must draw the line somewhere.
19. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? Yep.
20. Been in a car accident? Uh huh.
22. Favourite Movie: I hate winter. It stinks going to college in Minneapolis because the winter is like 6 months long.
23. Favourite Holiday: Hurrah! We're going on holiday! Haha. My favourite, is, of course, the most wonderful time of the year.
24. Favourite day of the week: Do you ever wonder where phrases come from? I sometimes wonder. My roommate just said he was "sick as a dog." I looked at him and said, "dogs aren't sick." But then he looked at me and tchah!ed derisively, asking "have you ever had a dog?" And suddenly I saw what he meant.
25. Favourite word or phrase: word of the day: seropurulent. ewwww.
26. Favourite Toothpaste: the kind that tastes like homemade bread pudding. Haha! That would be great. Actually it could be revolting. Maybe I just like Crest.
27. Favourite Restaurant: I like nice restaurants.
28. Favourite Flower: Crocuses are encouraging because they say "hi! It'll be spring soon!" (not audibly, stupid) Tulips are the same but its old news by the time they come up because the crocuses already told everyone.
29. Favourite Drink: Orange juice! Also I like wine.
30. Favourite sport to watch: Hmm. Do they mean "sport" like, "you lost, but be a good sport" or do they mean it like "this corn plant is a different hybrid than the others, it's a sport"? I don't know which they mean, and either of them are confusing, so in frustration I refuse to answer this question.
31. Preferred type of ice cream: homemade.
32. Favourite Sesame Street Character: Um. Cookie monster. I dressed up as Grover for Halloween one year. I was walking around going "Near.... Far!.... Near.... Far!"
33. Disney or Warner Bros: Dreamworks
34. Favourite Fast Food Restaurant: Fazoli's
35. When was your last hospital visit? Thankfully, I have never been visited by a hospital.
36. What colour is your bedroom carpet? It's commercial stuff, sort of a maroon flecked with navy pattern.
37. How many times did you fail your drivers test? You assume the number is a nonzero? You are wrong. It was really easy actually. I filled out a little form for which I was over-prepared, then this guy had me drive a little bit around a residential area (!) and then I got my license.
39. The last person you got email from before this? One of my coolest friends ever. His name is Ramon Chaparro.
40. Which single store would you choose to max out: Max out? This is a colloquialism with which I lack familiarity.
41. What do you do most often when you are bored? Haha! Thank you, survey, for giving me this opportunity to say one of my favorite phrases. Here it is: a creative person is never bored.
42. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest: Ok, I have now lost a little bit of respect for this survey. Hellooo survey, fix your clauses so they don't end in prepositions! Geez.
43. Most annoying thing people ask me? "Can I ask you a question?"
44. Bedtime: Yes.
45. Who will respond the quickest? Respond to what? It totally depends. I know some good responders.
46. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? I haven't sent it to anyone yet. Geez! Leave me alone!
47. Favourite all time TV shows: 60 Minutes is a show that seems like its all about time, but it isn't. I dont really know of any TV shows about time. There's "Land Before Time" but that obviously predates time. Um, do you read Time magazine? That's not about time either. My conclusion is that the media lies.
48. Last person you went out to dinner with: I bet you think prepositions are the best thing to end sentences with. Well, you're wrong, linking verbs are.
49. Last Movie you saw at the cinema: Monsters, Inc. Cute flick. Also, "cinema" was nice, but I think the older "theatre" would have been better.

Ok, done. Resume your normal life and leave me to my weird one. Or, you can waste some of your life and respond to this survey! Come on -- I DARE you.